I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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