physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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