I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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