i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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