Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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