I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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