why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
