Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
