it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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