Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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