My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
