New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
