Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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