Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
