My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
