why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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