It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So much rum. So many feels.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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