I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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