Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
