if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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