If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
