I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
