Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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