ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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