He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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