at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
