that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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