It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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