We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
