Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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