Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
