I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
