We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
