So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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