I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
