i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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