you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
