i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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