i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
