when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
