they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
