Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
