I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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