And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
