walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
