sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
