...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
