Im at strip club and am horny
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there was a trapeze. enough said
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
