I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
