HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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